Friday 17 October 2008

emo-ing

Lately, i have been through a lot of life's and relationships problems so much. i feel tired of myself, i feel tired of watching , and i feel tired of become the HOPER ( haha, HOPER, someone who always hoping, i also dunno , is there any HOPER words exist?)

Mostly it is about GUYs. oh ya ya, this God creation, really make me headaches. Now i know why nowadays a lot of Lesbians. haha but for sure i'm 100 percent straight! i still can be tempted by men. haha

Whole my life, i just knew one guy that i already spend almost my teenage life with. and after we broke up, i also can not move on , and still hoping for him back. i just feel he the one who know me a lot. even he always make me sad, but he still the one who know me.We can talk about a lot of things mostly hard topics, and even we argued about certain kind of topics in the end , we end up with facts. hahaha by googling or wikipedia... haha i remembered taht time , we argued about the Edadame Japanese bean. haha he said that, those bean is also kind of soya bean, but green. but i said, " no lha... ya , it is same because it is a bean, but this one is EDADAMe, a bit different." haha then he said" lets check in the computer ONLINE!"
hahaha.. it is not so important rite... haha

i am typicall girl who scared about guy. I feel i can't get a long with them. i always scared if know a new guy. thats why, i will have those multiple thought before decided to accept of their dinner invitation. i will used all the excused that i can make to make those dinner will be never happen. but in the other hand, i feel not nice to them. i just feel, " i am not pretty, not good enough, not sexy enough ( hahaha) , and not smart enough ( actually i think i quite smart, ha ha ha) , and why i can put my act so high to refusing all those invitation. WHO AM I? i am just a normal girl with boring and monotonous life. "

Hm.. ya ya ya... maybe because i already used to do everything with my Ex,so maybe i feel so scared and not dare to try the new things. i want to try new things, but i think not now.. It is not the best time to move on i still hoping for something!!! MIRACLE

Second guy that i know,was my class mate. yap, we also know each other well, and we sort of good friend. but sometime he annoys me, with the lame joke and sometimes i also feel so down. why? it is because every time i told him a bout something, a bout some information about the lesson, or additional information about certain kind of topics, he always said " No lha"" No lha" " No lha" . yayaya im so stupid i think, thats why u couldn't believe me. in the end the lecture also said what i told him. Hm... it is not what he saying but how or the way he talks. Really cannt TAHAN. Boy, if u read my blog, i'm not try to offended u, but trying to tell u. I know u really wannt to get PARTICIPATION marks, and want to compete with all the TALKACTIVE students, but plzz la... give ur opionion in a good way. Dunt include all those lame lame jokes and opinion. later all the classmates tired facing u.

For Random guy taht i knw erhmmm not so well, just know only, i really say sorry. hahaha i just scared. haha i dunt knw how to act in front of u , guys... . i also cannt take it if there is a guy who tried to approached me so obvious and praise me so much! i feel disgusting! The one and only i can trust to get the opinions of my looks is my Ex. haha he never said im pretty. So seldom for him to say i'm pretty. haha or maybe actually i'm pretty enough la.. but he dunt want to accept it and always deny. haha i think maybe because he scared if he loose me.. haha YA YA YA, dunt talk a bout the pasttttt haha..

i remembered i had this love letters by my last diploma classmates. He really praise me so much, until i kept laughing while i was read his confessions letter. hahha he said" The purpose i go to school everyday is for meeting u, even i can only see u from the back. do u knw, taht if u comin late, i'm always starring at the door and waiting u to come. my heart like bumping so hard to see u. " then he also said a bout my eyes sparkling like blablabla... hahaha so funny...but i still appreciate it for his brave . SALUT

Ha ha ha ha GUYS Guys Guys... sometimes can make me happy, sometimes can make me sad and sometimes can make me Scared. but mostly only can make me SAD

No comments: